For $1 million, you can pay Bryan Johnson (or Brya...

It’s the center of February, and the air is dry. There are fantastic traces rising on my brow, possibly as a result of I don’t moisturize sufficient, however possibly as a harbinger of one thing higher: every day I develop nearer to my very own loss of life. Quickly, I shall be 30. I’ll by no means be youthful than I’m proper now.

Fintech-founder-turned-longevity-guru Bryan Johnson has a proposal that has caught my consideration. For the low, low value of $1 million per 12 months, I pays him to indicate me the ropes of the “actual protocol” he’s adopted for the final 5 years. He calls this system “Immortals.”

Sure, a man who has obtained botox injections in his genitals will educate me how you can supposedly reverse the method of growing older. Why shouldn’t I imagine that Byran Johnson has uncovered the secrets and techniques to dwelling longer than another human? No, he has not but confirmed his capability to survive all different people. He was born in 1977, a 12 months through which many present people had been born.

However why would I doubt the judgement of a man who fortified his structure with blood from his teenage son? When have the tech elite ever misled us? Ought to I additionally query when Elon Musk says that saving for retirement is irrelevant as a result of AGI will create an financial abundance so nice that nobody will ever know poverty once more?

In accordance with Johnson’s put up on X, this unique service — solely three spots can be found! — will embody “a devoted concierge workforce, BryanAI 24/7, intensive testing, tens of millions of organic information factors, steady monitoring, finest pores and skin and hair protocols, and entry to the most effective therapies on market.”

I can speak to the AI model of a man who livestreams himself doing shrooms for “science?” Signal me up!

Besides I can’t. As a result of I shouldn’t have $1 million. These like me should accept shopping for Johnson’s overpriced olive oil in our pursuit of immortality (it’s peppery and smooth!)

My emergent brow wrinkle intensifies with the information that Johnson will possible have a simple time filling up these three $1 million spots. Among the many extremely rich, longevity has change into an more and more sizzling pursuit.

John Hering, who has given Musk billions of {dollars} in backing, co-founded Biograph, which describes itself as a preventative well being and diagnostics clinic. Its most premium membership prices $15,000 a 12 months (subsequent to Johnson’s providing, it virtually looks like a superb deal… virtually). An identical startup, Fountain Life, has raised $108 million to fund its “final longevity program,” which prices a $21,500 annual price. Positive, Johnson’s program is much more costly, however keep in mind, there’s solely three spots! And in the event you’re nonetheless not able to shell out seven figures, nicely, you’ll be able to entry a obscure “supported tier” for $60,000.

There’s nothing flawed with desirous to reside an extended, more healthy life, however longevity influencers like Johnson take this to an excessive that’s unattainable and (commonsense would say) completely pointless for the common particular person.

In his protection, Johnson isn’t making an attempt to proselytize us all into taking one hundred pills a day and subsisting largely on boiled greens. However he’s additionally not depriving us of the prospect to make him richer in change for his “secrets and techniques.”